Pride's Purge

(satire – barely)

Vince Cable and Ed Balls start to display courtship behaviour, raising hopes of a successful mating

Two of the UK’s giant parties could be ready to mate within the next month, according to zoo experts. Both the the Liberal Democrat’s Alpha male, Vince Cable and Labour’s Ed Balls have started to show important changes in their behaviour, indicating their readiness to mate soon, zoology specialists at Westminster Zoo said.

Zoological experts are able to predict when both parties are ready to breed by a combination of behavioural observation and hormone testing, but to date no concrete hormonal changes have been seen in either party.

However, Vince Cable recently began doing handstands against trees, walls and rocks, scent-marking as high up as possible – known as a display of virility in Westminster. Meanwhile Ed Balls has started calling out to his potential partner – which is common during…

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About oneoflokis

Ah! That'd be telling! But very Lokean.
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